Sir Peter Ustinov spoke about 'HIS Russia', so I shall write of MY Minnesota.
I both love AND hate Minnesota. Yes, I think a true Minnesotan has both feelings, STRONG mind you, about our home. It is COLD in the winter. It is a dog froze to the fire-hydrant, tongue to the flag pole, nostrils froze together kinda cold. But the summers can be HOT. Not just Hot but humid. It is the kind of humid weather were you are drenched wet just opening your door, drowning to death walking to your car, underwear stuck to the crack of your bum kinda humid.
And don't get me started about the goof balls that are elected to office in this state, no matter WHAT party we are talking about. We are not called the Gopher state because we have so many of the little furry ground rats running around but because of the underground dealings that this states government had in the beginning, and still does.
Now I am sure that ALL know that both Price Roger Nelson (or 'The Artist') and Robert Zimmerman (aka Bob Dylan) both came from this wonderful state. But we also have F. Scott Fitzgerald, Terry Gilliam, Judy Garland, John Madden, Roger Maris, The Andrew Sisters, Winona Ryder, Charles Schulz, E. G. Marshall, Jessica Lange, Jane Russell, Kevin Sorbo, Tammy Faye Baker, Sinclair Lewis, Loni Anderson, the talentless Garrison Keillor, Marion Ross, Peter Graves, James Arness and the great clown himself Jesse 'I ain't got time to poop' Ventura.
Needless to say, all these people show that they could not wait to get the hell out of this state. Some even ADMIT that they came from here.
Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin had his balloon ride at Fort Snelling in 1863 giving him the idea of his great invention that bore his name (The Hindenburg is Minnesota's fault). At those same fields outside the fort several years later Lt. Col. G. A. Custer played polo before heading out to Little Big Horn.
It was a Minnesota that gave this nation Prohibition. Andrew John Volstead was from Granite Falls (and sadly a family member of mine) that authored the act that bore his name. I do not joke when I say that this is one of the most horrid things the government did and that we still suffer great negative effects from those 12 years of stupidity.
Now we do NOT have a Democratic party in this state. It is a pseudo third party known as the DFL or the Democratic-Farmer-Labor. The Farmer-Labor was a union of socialists and communists that banded together for the 'better of the state'. It was a true 3rd party that had 4 governors and several members that went to DC. In 1944 they banded with the Democrats and this party has remained strong since then.
As for communists we have old Jake Cooper, a man who started a Supermarket chain right here in Chaska, Minnesota. He so believed in this political system that he was a bodyguard for Leon Trotsky in Mexico and remained a Trotskyist until his death in 1990.
This is just a small list of things that can be blamed on good old Minnesota. I am sure I will follow up with more useless trivia in that Cliff Claven sort of way. Maybe I will also include the 'Largest Ball of Twine', then again maybe not.
Eirik Farwanderer
12 December, 2009 Anno Domini.
I both love AND hate Minnesota. Yes, I think a true Minnesotan has both feelings, STRONG mind you, about our home. It is COLD in the winter. It is a dog froze to the fire-hydrant, tongue to the flag pole, nostrils froze together kinda cold. But the summers can be HOT. Not just Hot but humid. It is the kind of humid weather were you are drenched wet just opening your door, drowning to death walking to your car, underwear stuck to the crack of your bum kinda humid.
And don't get me started about the goof balls that are elected to office in this state, no matter WHAT party we are talking about. We are not called the Gopher state because we have so many of the little furry ground rats running around but because of the underground dealings that this states government had in the beginning, and still does.
Now I am sure that ALL know that both Price Roger Nelson (or 'The Artist') and Robert Zimmerman (aka Bob Dylan) both came from this wonderful state. But we also have F. Scott Fitzgerald, Terry Gilliam, Judy Garland, John Madden, Roger Maris, The Andrew Sisters, Winona Ryder, Charles Schulz, E. G. Marshall, Jessica Lange, Jane Russell, Kevin Sorbo, Tammy Faye Baker, Sinclair Lewis, Loni Anderson, the talentless Garrison Keillor, Marion Ross, Peter Graves, James Arness and the great clown himself Jesse 'I ain't got time to poop' Ventura.
Needless to say, all these people show that they could not wait to get the hell out of this state. Some even ADMIT that they came from here.
Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin had his balloon ride at Fort Snelling in 1863 giving him the idea of his great invention that bore his name (The Hindenburg is Minnesota's fault). At those same fields outside the fort several years later Lt. Col. G. A. Custer played polo before heading out to Little Big Horn.
It was a Minnesota that gave this nation Prohibition. Andrew John Volstead was from Granite Falls (and sadly a family member of mine) that authored the act that bore his name. I do not joke when I say that this is one of the most horrid things the government did and that we still suffer great negative effects from those 12 years of stupidity.
Now we do NOT have a Democratic party in this state. It is a pseudo third party known as the DFL or the Democratic-Farmer-Labor. The Farmer-Labor was a union of socialists and communists that banded together for the 'better of the state'. It was a true 3rd party that had 4 governors and several members that went to DC. In 1944 they banded with the Democrats and this party has remained strong since then.
As for communists we have old Jake Cooper, a man who started a Supermarket chain right here in Chaska, Minnesota. He so believed in this political system that he was a bodyguard for Leon Trotsky in Mexico and remained a Trotskyist until his death in 1990.
This is just a small list of things that can be blamed on good old Minnesota. I am sure I will follow up with more useless trivia in that Cliff Claven sort of way. Maybe I will also include the 'Largest Ball of Twine', then again maybe not.
Eirik Farwanderer
12 December, 2009 Anno Domini.
No comments:
Post a Comment